Sample post for Animus

The scratching of a pen was all the sound in the depth of the night, the candle guttered but did not go out, shining its small light on the room, a typical trainee room, two beds, two trunks, and an array of weapons both real and practice hung up on pegs or leaning against the wall. In one of the beds a young girl was fast asleep, seemingly unaware of her roommate sat on the second bed scribbling furiously.

Nesir stifled a yawn and kept on writing, it was almost time to wake up, and she had not even slept yet. She was writing an essay on the history of darkness monsters, a subject she knew nothing about, at least not in the amount of detail that was needed for this essay. It was one she was writing for Herin, the acolyte apparently couldn’t be bothered to write his own essays. If it wasn’t for Ral; Nesir would just refuse, or mess up the essays on purpose. Though she wasn’t a fan of being beaten up herself, it didn’t matter, for she would merely remember every strike and pay them back blow by blow when she was stronger and had more power. But it was not really fair for Ral to be hurt because Nesir did something, and though Ral was as much a light god fearing fool as the rest of them Nesir felt protective of one of the two people who had actually been nice to her in this Temple.

Her leg was starting to seize up, she had been in the same position for hours now, she shifted slightly and stretched out her leg to relieve the numbness. She stifled a curse as her foot knocked over the bottle of ink. She reached over to grab it, almost dropping it again in her haste. But the damage was done. She stood up and surveyed it, placing the now almost empty ink pot on the side. The essay she was writing was ruined, Herin was going to kill her. There was a large ink stain on her bed, and her trouser leg and the cuffs of her uniform were dyed black; no matter about Herin, some warrior was going to beat her til Midwinter!

She crept out the room to the basin that she and Kes shared with the room next door and scrubbed her hands; in vain as it did not remove the ink, merely made the stains larger, she cursed again and returned to her room, using a cloth to wipe the bottle of ink clean.

She would have to go and wash her uniform and bedding before the bell rang. She quickly took off her ink stained uniform and pulled on her spare uniform. It needed washed too but Nesir figured it would do while she went to the laundry room, she gathered the bedding and her ink stained uniform, just as the bells went clanging around the temple.

This was not her day. Nesir dropped the pile of sheets back on to the bed and gathered up her papers and books for the day, putting them in a brown canvas bag that went over her shoulders. Ral’s sister, a young priestess in training, had bought them in town the week before as presents. Nesir, who was very wary of things given to her had accepted hers begrudgingly, but she had to admit it was very useful, it meant she didn’t have to keep coming to her room throughout the day, and it kept her books and essays dry in the seemingly constant rain.

Kes had woken up at the bell and was getting up, Nesir left the room quickly so she didn’t have to speak to her. She had not even got out of the barracks when a call stopped her. Making her face totally blank Nesir turned around to see a warrior her over, Nesir approached and stood to attention, expecting trouble.

She got it, the man looked at her with the usual stony expression before speaking in a seemingly bored voice, “Trainee you are aware we have rules about the state of uniform yes?” Nesir resisted the urge to pull a face but kept her face blank and tried to keep any hint of sulleness out of her voice as she answered.

“Yes Sir,”

“What are you doing walking around like that then, girl? Go get your spare uniform immediately and put it on,” the warrior’s voice held contempt, either for Nesir’s uniform, or the fact he had to deal with it; Nesir did not know.

“My other one do be dirty too, sir,” Nesir knew this would make the warrior angry, but he would be more angry if he saw Nesir in her ink stained uniform. “I did be getting ink on it,” she explained in a blank tone.

The man’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly, “You will report to the laundry room during breakfast, you will wash both your uniforms and then you shall report to me for an inspection before going to your training. Now get to exercises.” Nesir hid a scowl and bowed before hurrying off.

She arrived in the training yard among the milling trainees. Spotting Ral she hurried to go and stand by her friend. Ral gave her appearance a sideways look but had no time to ask before they were called to attention.

Running is quite difficult after having had no sleep, Nesir found herself slipping back down the ranks and glared at Ral when she realised the boy was keeping pace with her.

“Did you go out again last night?” Her friend hissed at her as they ran. Nesir glared at him again and shook her head. Ral strongly disapproved of Nesir going to the inns in the city and getting drunk, even though Nesir had never turned up to training drunk after the first time.

“I was writing an essay,” she hissed back, annoyed at her friends suspicion. Ral opened his mouth to retort but a shout from a watching acolyte had them both pick up their pace and they ran the rest of the way in silence. As the bell rang for breakfast Nesir headed back to the barracks, after telling Ral she couldn’t have breakfast and promising to explain later.

She grabbed her ink stained uniform and the sheets and marched off to the laundry room. It took a long time for her to scrub the ink stains from her uniform and bed sheets, knowing that if she left the sheets there would likely be a surprise inspection or such.

The warrior nodded curtly when Nesir reported to him. “Better, now get to class before you are late,” Nesir nodded sullenly and left, her stomach grumbling from lack of food.

Her first class was awful, unarmed fighting whilst hungry and tired. Worse she was paired with a trainee who was one of Herin’s friends, a boy close to being tested for acolyte who had decided he had had enough of being a punching target and sold his soul to them. Or perhaps Herin had seen the cruel potential in him and offered him a way out. Nesir did not know truthfully but it was enough that the boy was not one of ‘them’ and he seemed to be trying to prove his allegiance to Herin by attempting to hurt Nesir as much as possible. Nesir was equal to him in this style of fighting and gave as good as she got. Herin would probably make her pay later but she was already in trouble for ruining the essay and so a little bit more pain would do nothing. Or so she told herself.

She spent the next hour polishing armour, which had to be the most boring chore ever invented. Most of the armour probably didn’t even need it as it was polished four times a day. Useless chores annoyed her, but at least Ral was in her chore section with her. In a quiet voice Nesir told him what had happened and why she had not been at breakfast. Ral pulled a face and told her he would come with her when she broke the news about the essay to Herin. Nesir told Ral not to be stupid but Ral would not hear of her going alone. Nesir sighed but did not argue more, after all she would probably do the same for Ral. No one else though, which was the difference between them, Ral would go through fire to help anybody, because he was just like that. Nesir would not, she did not even know why she would ever help Ral except that the boy was the only person in this temple that did not drive her crazy.

She had a class next, a theory lesson that drove her insane, history lessons, history that Nesir had known since she was tiny, the crimes that the light gods followers had committed against the shadow servants, though the temple did not call them that, they called them ‘victories’, death was only murder when it was a light god addled that died. Still Neisr copied down notes dutifully for the hour and was even relieved when the bell went to signal lunch, even if that meant seeing Herin.

She met up with Ral at lunch and they ate quickly, so that they got something to eat before Herin and Saered found them. The two acolytes did so eventually and Herin demanded his essay. “I do no be having it,” Nesir muttered. Herin’s eyes darkened.

“Come on, outside,” knowing that arguing was useless Nesir stood up and followed Herin, Ral and Saered followed. They got to a quite part of the yard and Herin moved. It still surprised Nesir how fast the acolyte could move, but she barely had time to think about that before her head was smashing against the wall. She couldn’t move, she was pinned to the wall, pain, she tasted blood. It could be dealt with, Nesir grasped out at the emptiness, light god followers used the emptiness to help them concentrate, to improve their aim, to clear their thoughts, to allow them to do things they believed wrong. Nesir had been taught the void by Kant for this reason, to escape from pain.

Her awareness heightened but she no longer felt. No fear, no shame, no guilt at the anguished look in Ral’s eyes where he stood; held by Saered. “Where’s the essay Nesir,” the man asked, anger tinting his voice. Nesir reached round into her bag, Herin let the pressure off her a little bit but his eyes glittered promises of pain if Nesir tried anything. Nesir took out the ink ruined essay and handed it to Herin.


Footsteps faded away, and she heard someone approach. It was Ral, Nesir opened her eyes and let go of the state of emptiness. Pain flooded her and she gasped, struggling to keep her face emotionless as she met Ral’s eyes. Ral helped her up as Nesir tried to work out what was actually damaged and what was just hurting. Ral’s lip was bleeding as well, but Nesir did not ask about it. They did not speak just went over to the well and drew water to wash their faces.

Bells rang through the tower and it was time for more chores. The two trainees trudged off to the kitchens, hobbling slightly but being able for the most part to ignore the pain. An hour scrubbing pots under the hawk-like eyes of the Mistress of the Kitchens was painful and her wooden spoon awoke all the bruises that Nesir had. There was no talking here, she would hit anyone who dared break the busy quiet of her realm. Nesir thought that even the temple heads would think twice before going against this woman.

She was glad when the hour was over and was glad to be back out in the yards and sparring. Her and Ral sparred, practicing what they had learnt from their lessons about fighting with no weapons. Sparring together was not bad, they went easy on each other knowing that each hurt as much as the other. There teacher could find no mistakes or criticisms to give them for once and it was the probably the best thing to happen all day.

The class next was one on daggers, Nesir liked this lesson. Though she hurt from the beating Herin had given her the class let her forget it. There was something very soothing about repeatedly stabbing practice dummies. They were learning about the anatomy, knowledge Nesir had had since she was young, but it was good to put it to practice. Where was best to stab so she would damage someone the most. Nesir had to be careful not to show that she had prior knowledge in this, but that was a skill much practiced and so she was able to feign a few mistakes, but keep her teachers happy with her.

It was late afternoon and the sun was beginning to set as Nesir found herself once again working beside Ral. They had a lot of chores to do, because apparently it taught them character. Really Nesir thought it was just to annoy them, and to waste their time. Currently Nesir and Ral were scrubbing the steps of the battlements. Steps that would be muddy again after they had finished, useless work and work that annoyed Nesir.

The two worked in silence, never being too far away from each other, as they swept the yards in the fast approaching darkness. This slot of chores was the worst, because acolytes had their free time. Herin and his cronies often came to make their lives miserable. Tramping through freshly scrubbed halls with muddy boots, or knocking over pales of water, tripping over people who were working.

Nesir kept her temper, just. They were finishing their work when Herin and Saered approached them, hissing that they were to meet them in the usual corner of the yards in their free time. There was nothing they could do about it, the bullies ‘summoned’ their victims on random days, so not to be caught. Not going made things worse, but they had a lesson before that so there was no point worrying.

The next lesson was even more stupid, different types of guises creatures of the shadow servants could take. Nesir did not know what was worse, the anger on the teachers face as he spoke of the dark creeping in to destroy them all, or the look of pathetic fear on the faces of the pathetic light addled trainees she was stuck learning with. More knowledge that Nesir knew already, dark monsters were brutish stupid creatures. The light worshipers feared them, and that took their fear away from where it should truly be. Nesir knew that she would rather face a monster or two, intent on having her for dinner than face Elina when she was angry. Monsters would just kill you, Elina could make you live in agony for a very long time.

She had managed to eat her lunch, she had not really expected to be allowed to eat dinner as well and so she was not too surprised when Herin shouldered her out the way on the bench and took her meal. Saered was there too and Nesir and Ral sat silently, it was not worth arguing. One meal in the day was more than what they sometimes got.

The two of them left, escaping the hall. They would have to face Herin and Saered once dinner was over but they could escape for the time being. They wandered the garden, not talking, taking solace in silence. They were both tired, the days were long and by the time it got to dinner they were exhausted. It was to teach them endurance, Nesir assumed, and hoped that by the time she was a warrior, if she ever became a warrior... she would have much more energy than now.

The bells rang, marking the hour. They had an hour free time now, a privilege, but not for Ral and Nesir. Resigned they both made their way to meet Herin. It was silly little chores that the acolyte made them do, things that could be easily done and were just meant to annoy those that the acolyte bullies tormented.

Herin was in a foul mood; he had gotten punished for the ruined essay, and was determined to take his anger out on Nesir. As Nesir scrubbed the acolyte's uniform Herin cuffed and cursed at her. Nesir was in a difficult situation, she could not argue back, because the man hated her accent and speaking in it earned her a kick. Of course Nesir could speak in a non Gauigish way, but to do so would be to admit defeat and so in defiance Nesir just didn’t speak.

Bruised and angry Nesir left the barracks at the bell, she was meant to be doing her homework and then she had more chores before she could finally fall into the oblivion of sleep. But she hurt too much and had to get away. Sneaking out the tower was easy if you knew how to. She wrapped the cloak Lotte had bought her round herself, glad for its warmth and entered the town. As long as she kept her cloak wrapped round her no one would know she was a trainee.

She soon arrived at one of Jacin’s regular inn’s. The man spotted her and waved her over, the innkeeper grumbled, he did not like Nesir being here. He thought he would get into trouble with the temple, but so far he had not kicked Nesir out. A few others had but Jacin stopped going there, he could not gamble if Nesir was not there.

Nesir grinned at him, hiding the pain. Jacin did not mention her bruises; he was used to Nesir turning up battered and bruised. He never questioned and Nesir was glad about that. That was why she liked the inns, it was like home, and no one cared. No one tried for false sympathy or pretended they cared where she came from, who she was or what she did for a living. They had respect for her quick hands and quick eyes and cursed her when she won too many times. she was not cheating though and though they had tried to accuse her of it they had found no proof.

A few mugs of beer later Nesir did not feel as sore, the night pased pleasantly. She won a lot and Jacin was happy, he did not begrudge Nesir the two coins for every win and tonight on the last win; a big win the pieces he gave Nesir were worth more than the usual pennies she was given. Nesir grinned and slipped the money into her pocket.

Happily drunk Nesir returned to the Temple. She had not done her homework but she was going to sleep tonight. She would be punished but she didn’t really care. She was tired and she needed sleep, for tomorrow it would all start again. Every day was the same, the only thing that differed was the amount of pain she was in at the end of it.

App for Animus

Player Information

Name: Katy
Personal Journal: adala_albahar
Age: 23
Contact Info: AIM: Jipaltara, Plurk: damua
Other Characters Played: Suzaku Kururugi, Shion, Taiki, Romeo

Character Information

Character Name: Nesir Aeser

Character Age: 15

Character Gender: Female

World Description: Nesir's world is as large as earth with cultures as vast and different as our own. It is a world locked in a never ending war of good and evil, a war started by gods and continued by humans. To the ordinary person that is the end of it, you either follow the teachings of the gods of light or you follow the god of darkness. To them it is simple, living a good life being kind to those around you, working hard and resisting those who try to tempt you is sufficient to follow the bright gods. To those in the shadows its a bit harder, remaining secret while finding those who share your beliefs, small pockets of darkness most often involved in petty crime. Secret shadowy organisations infiltrating the leaders of the lands, or bands of bandits. All have the same aim; to spread chaos and fear. To pave the way for the shadow lord.

Of course things are a little more complicated, because the gods have, since the beginning of time granted their powers to those they govern. All living creatures in the world have power, power to be tapped into and used but for most of them it is locked away. They have no way to channel it. That is the difference between power and magic.

Generally speaking only humans have magic, of course there are exceptions. Every so often you hear tales such as cats that can shoot fire from their eyes destroying whole villages. But such happenings are rare and magic is generally considered to be a human trait.

There is no rhyme or reason as to which humans manifest magic, children of nobles or orphan street children. The magic tends to manifest around the age of fourteen and can be dangerous if they are not found and trained. Though some are trained personally by other magic users most are sent to a temple in the mountains; the only one of its kind and home to all magic users and those that serve them.

Once trained these magic users are priests and priestesses, sworn to serve one of the gods of light. Each god encourages different specialities in those that serve them.

These are:
Healing: looking after the sick, using magic to help the injured in battles and every day life. Many go out into the world to provide care to those that need it.
Knowledge: Most those that serve the god of knowledge remain in the mountains teaching those that come to learn, some also go out into the world.
Justice: They try and bring light to the world, either by settling village disputes or advising Queens, or vigilante crime fighting.
Discovery: They deal with all things powerful and magic, be it taking down those cats with fire spouting eyes, finding old items containing power or searching for children capable of magic and ensuring they get trained.
War: The most martial, for they are completely preoccupied with the fight against the shadow god. They aim to bring peace to the world by fighting evil everywhere they see it, going out to hunt down those that follow the shadow god and wipe out all evil from the world.

Of course there are also priests who follow the shadow god, they live among the others; often pretending to be servants of one of the five bright gods. They seek to spread chaos and pave the way for the shadow god to consume all.

But priests and priestesses are not the only ones to whom the temple is home. A school of warriors, from all around the world live there. Their duty and calling is to protect those with magic, lending the inherent power that lies within them to serve their priests. Though there are other places where fighters can be trained this is the most diverse, accepting people with no training; where sons of kings train next to peasant children and all are forged into the greatest warriors of all time. Seeking no honour for themselves but only that the priests can fulfill their destinies.

As mentioned before their are many countries in Nesir's world, the temple is apart from all of them; those that train there priest or warrior give up their nationality and swear to serve the world as a whole. Gauig is warm, dry and dusty. The capital being known for it's ales and meads. A country wracked with war with its neighbours, petty land squabbles that swelled every so often. The capital where Nesir grew up is on the coast; they have a heavy fish diet and are the largest producers of honey. They are ruled by a Queen and inheritance is the choice of the current ruler; the throne sometimes going to distant cousins if the rulers children are not deemed worthy.

The only place in her world that Nesir has gone to is the mountains where the temple was, though she traveled though a few different lands to get there she didn't stay long and had very little contact with those that lived there. Temple life was very rigid and she struggled to come to terms with the much colder climate, where snow lay on the ground for at least half the year.

Character Background:
In general it is assumed that everyone in the world is born good, if they grow up in a good family with strong values they will remain good and work for benefit of others.

It doesn't always work that way, sometimes people go bad. They begin to serve the shadow lord; humans and humans they are easily corrupted. But as the ranks of the shadow found often; that which could be corrupted could be redeemed. However much you tried someone who grew up believing a way of life to be correct will struggle to adapt to a new one.

These were the findings of a small group of shadow priests one of whom was an ambitious woman called Elena. If their main issue with finding new agents of the shadow to remain loyal to them was that the light always pulled them, then surely the solution was to bring a child up believing that the shadow was correct.

So she sent her warrior Kant to father a child; he came back with two and she handed them over to a small band of shadow agents; at an inn in the capital city of Gauig to raise in the darkness.

So Nesir's life began, she wasn't called Nesir at the time. When she was ready to go out to the world she had to be untraceable. Humans are humans and make mistakes and mistakes were costly when made by a shadow servant. So her name would be given later, when it was her only name; traceable only to the person she was meant to be.

From an early age the girls lived double lives. In the daytime their mornings and evenings were taken up serving customers in the inn, scrubbing dishes, doing whatever jobs were given to them. It would have been easy work if the tavern had been a friendly clean place. However the Apple's Heart in Gauig was the sort of place light fearing men avoided. The inside was a dank dark place, with shadowy corners where drunken men gambled their lives away, where thieves met and plotted.

The afternoons were the girls time to do what they wished, the inn was quiet, before people arrived for the evening, and the keepers would rather the girls were out from under foot. So in the afternoons the girls played in the city, they were friends with the street children and thieves. They were soon prized among the children as the two girls proved to be good thieves, quick and good at hiding. Such activities were permitted and encouraged by their guardians, after all they were useful skills.

Once the inn began to quiet, in the early hours of the morning the children were woken from their sleep for their lessons; some lessons were the same as any other children of traders and innkeepers. Reading, writing, how to count and reason. Others not so common; how to walk silently, move in shadows, how to fight and how to kill.

When the girls were deemed old enough to understand they made their pledge to the shadow god, becoming servants of the shadow officially. They knew it was something to be kept secret and rarely even spoke about it among themselves. By the time the girls were eleven they were sent on their first missions.

Nesir found the tasks given to her exciting, each one a little bit more risky, the fear of being caught igniting the adrenaline inside her. She didn't mind killing, after all it got her praise. She knew she was serving the shadow god and above all it was fun. She had speant her life learning how to and it was good to put those skills to good use.

Her sister though did not take to such things as well. She had always felt things deeply and one day things seemed to have changed. She had been on a mission and Nesir wasn't sure if her sister had met someone who had put ideas in her head or if she had come to the conclusion herself but one night Nesir walked in on her crying in the small room they shared. She confessed that she thought the shadow god was wrong and made Nesir promise to never tell a soul.

She promised but her promise never even had to be tested for a few days later she was summoned by Tawin; one of the innkeepers. She never learned fully what happened but her sister had failed. Been deemed a failure and a danger to them all. Their guardians; worried that the taint had spread they ordered Nesir to kill her sister to prove her loyalty to the shadow god.

Of course Nesir did so; she loved her sister but obedience had been drilled into her and if her sister was truly a danger... She didn't expect the sadness though; unlike the satisfaction that usually came when she completed a mission she was hit with loss and grief.

Left to her own devices for a few days but barred from leaving the inn Nesir worried, had they decided she was to be killed as well? Did they not want her anymore? When she was finally summoned it was Elina she faced. The priestess informed her that she was being sent to a far off temple; a place where she would train to be a warrior like Kant. To serve a magic user when she became strong enough. There was a large faction of shadow servants there and they would continue Nesir's training.

And so Nesir left her city of dust and honey and travelled North, the journey took a few weeks and at that time she learned all their was to know about her new role. She was given a name for the first time; Nesir Aeser. An innkeepers daughter whose family was murdered by shadow servants a few weeks before, acting on her parents final wishes to go and train as a warrior.

She knew to keep her training secret. Nesir was to know some basic unarmed fighting but that was it. Arriving at the citedel Nesir initially struggled. It was much colder than her home had been and she had the unfortunate luck to be put in a room with a girl from a neighbouring country, one that had been at war with Gauig on and off for years. The girl; Kes, picked on her accent and they fought. Before her first day had even began Nesir found herself in the trainers office in trouble.

Things continued as they began, Nesir's accent got her teased. Her small stature and young age; for there were not many recruits who were only twelve. She continued with unarmed training and began to learn daggers; how to throw them and fight with them. However she didn't settle. She was angry all the time, angry with her life, angry at Elina for sending her to this stupid cold temple where everyone picked on her and she was supposed to be at the beck and call of magic users. It didn't take very long to sneak out of the grounds. As a basic trainee she wasn't allowed to leave the temple at all but after a week of watching the guard routines she snuck through and down to the nearest town.

It was there she found some companionship. In the roughest inns where no one cared if her rough cloak hid a temple uniform, if she was young and spoke with an accent so thick people struggled to understand her. She had fast hands and a good eye and though she had no money to gamble with she sought out those that did, lending her skills for a cut of the profits.

Back at the temple she continued to be constantly in trouble, including one awful time where she turned up to training drunk. After a weak of extra chores that made her feel like every bone in her body was going to shatter with pure exhaustion Nesir made sure to sober up before turning up to training.

Her first year in the temple was marred with fights and trouble. She almost got kicked out a few times but the temple truly did believe that everyone had potential. So the punishments continued and Nesir grew more sullen.

She did manage to make a friend though, a young boy named Ral who stood up for her and watched her back. Nesir thought he was an idiot, he wore his heart on his sleave and tried to be kind to everyone. But for a light fearing fool he wasn't too bad and Nesir liked the company.

However the two of them attracted the attention of a group of mid ranked bullies who tried their best to make their lives a misery. Holding them in hostage to the other they held them under their thumb and Nesir's days became long dreary ones of pain and training.

After she had been in the temple about six months she met Lotte, a noble girl who she clashed with initially. She was a magic user who had came to the warrior training yards to learn woodcraft. Nesir laughed at her skills and Lotte laughed at Nesir's accent and fighting.

But a week or so later on one of her missions for the shadow cell of the temple she was paired with Lotte; the young priestess in training was also destined to serve the shadow god and slowly but surely their friendship grew. It was not an ordinary friendship, they bickered constantly but they taught each other; Lotte teaching Nesir the valuable skill of talking in a neutral voice, masking her accent and way of talking. They were often paired together, the shadow cells of the temple pushing them together in hope of creating a powerful team for the future. Among the shadow god sworn Nesir was known as Culbu Tiri, a name she had even less connection with than Nesir but it was hers nonetheless.

When Nesir was thirteen, after about eighteen months in the temple she got into a fight; nothing unusual, after all she was dragged to the training masters office on a weekly basis due to fights or misbehaviour. This one started much the same as usual; an arrogant priestling throwing his weight around, clashing with Nesir who as usual couldn't control her tongue or her fists.

However instead of punching back the trainee priest merely set Nesir on fire. They were found quickly, the boy stopped; Nesir healed and them both punished. The trainee for misuse of magic and losing control of his temper. Nesir for daring to strike a magic user. Life she decided was grossly unfair and Nesir carried with her a real fear of fire and a much bigger respect for the magic priests and priestesses wielded.

There was an attack on the temple and Nesir saw for the first time the real damage that the forces of light and darkness could do to one another. She fought on the side of the light for she had to and watched the execution of her siblings in the darkness. Everything she was taught by the shadow servants she found to be true in her lessons of the light and what she saw around her and became more determined that the shadow god should win this war.

However she wasn't so sure of her own place in the world. As young people often are she chafed at the directions she was being pulled in, a student of the temple, a child of the shadow. Promised to vow with Lotte when they both were fully trained; to give her life and power to her for ever. A daunting idea but part of a temple warriors life. Her loyalty to Lotte clashed with her loyalty to Elina. Her hatred of the light clashed with her loyalty to the temple. She struggled pulled in many directions angry that her life was not hers to control.

She was almost fifteen when she was finally deemed ready to pass out of basic training. She had taken longer than most trainees because of her age and her temper. But by this time she had learned to curb her temper, to say the right things in the right voice. She was sent into the wilderness to survive and find her way back, a test of her abilities.

A test she passed albeit very narrowly. Limping back to the temple the required ten days later she was half starved with a badly twisted ankle and a low grade fever. But she had survived, she reached the ranks of acolyte.

However the test had been more than just a physical and mental test. For the first time in her life Nesir was out of reach of those who controlled her. She could run, run and run and never stop. Find a place where she could be herself. Where she didn't have to worry about offending Elina, or bringing disgrace on her upbringing. On being caught by the forces of the light or accidentally betraying the shadow.

In the end she returned though, because something drew her back to the temple. Lotte, Ral, friends she had never wanted. People she had been planning to use and leave behind. She made her decision, she would return she would work hard and become a warrior. The greatest the shadow had ever known. Then she would destroy the temple and everyone who had ever dared hurt her.

An acolyte and her inner turmoil settled for now she threw herself into training with new vigour surprising her teachers who praised the training master; it had indeed been the pride the rising up in rank and the responsibilities that came with it that had been needed to settle the unruly trainee. Everything went well; she turned fifteen without much fanfare and for the first time in a while things were going well for her.

Until mid winter that was. In the midsts of celebrations she was sent on a mission that would shake the temple. It went wrong, horrifically so; a kid she had been training in the ways of the shadow turned on her. After a fight where she killed the boy Lotte was not where she had agreed to be. Hiding the body Nesir left her post and went to look for her, there were far too many people around; despite the fact they should be all inside celebrating. She ran into a drunk Kes and they fought, matched in strength they dealt each other blows with their full force before a friend of Kes' turned up; a priest friend of Kes' who threw Nesir into a tree knocking her unconscious.

The days after midwinter were holiday and so no one noticed Nesir missing. In fact it was her who saved her own life; for if the body of the boy hadn't been found they would have never been a search for any other victims of the awful attack.

In a lot of ways Nesir got lucky, if they had waited until after the holiday she would have been passed saving but magic managed to save all of her save two fingers on her right hand. Taken by frost sickness her index and middle finger had to be cut away to stop the sickness from spreading to the rest of her hand.

To make Nesir's anger even worse she overheard Elina and Kant speaking whilst she was half delirious with fever; learning that Kant was her father. When she woke she never gathered the courage to ask, but it is something that makes her wonder. Did she dream it or was it real? It adds to her anger.

Which fed her frustration; those months of learning to use a dagger again, the loss of strength. Learning to write in her left hand, the sickening feeling she would be cast away by Lotte, or deemed a failure by the rest of the shadow circle. She wasn't; she was punished of course for her failure but they deemed that the missing fingers were a lesson for her to be more careful in the future.

And that is the canon point she is taken from.

Personality:
The most important thing to remember about Nesir is the difference between what she should be and what she is. In theory Nesir should be both Nesir and Culbu. Nesir being a polite young girl who keeps her head down, works hard; who lost her parents to the darkness and wishes to fight for the power of light. Culbu being a talented assassin, wreathed in shadows and secrecy, completely loyal to the shadow god.

In reality she doesn't quite hit either of them head on. Arriving at the temple was a shock to her system and Nesir doesn't do change well, still wracked with grief from the death of her sister she lashed back in the only way she could; against innocents who really had done her very little harm. This made her unlikable and though that is not an excuse for the bullying she experienced it made her much less able to deal with it in any productive way.

She had no allies in her teachers whose lessons she skipped or ignored, the other trainees saw her as rude. Ral was in no position to help and so she became more sullen and more angry; a vicious circle that even as an acolyte she had not quite gotten out of.

Even as Culbu she isn't able to completely be the loyal mindless follower she was supposed to be; she resents being told what to do if she sees no gain from it, she hates being used as a pawn though she is aware that that is what she is. She might harbour dreams of revenge and absolute power but she knows them for what they are; dreams.

So who she really is is a girl who is getting slowly better at acting. Once she became an acolyte she was able to fool her teachers she had had a change in heart, she can keep her face blank and her tone neutral. She can mask her accent so no one knows where she comes from. They are all tools that she uses to get what she wants.

But she still slips, when she is confronted with new situations, when she is scared or worried. She can be rude; not because she doesn't know how or why to be polite but because she doesn't really care about most people. If they follow the light gods and have no power to punish her then she sees them as stupid mindless puppets. Ral is an exception; but he was the first person to show her kindness since the death of her sister and so won her loyalty.

Because Nesir is loyal; it is tremendously hard to win. True loyalty that is; she will profess loyalty to the shadow god, the shadow circle and Elina but the only two people who have her true respect and loyalty are Ral and Lotte. She is starting to learn how important it is to have allies, those that like you well enough to help you in times of trouble.

Nesir's beliefs are another thing that effect her personality and the way she deals with people and situations. Coming from a world where good and evil have lines and rules and are starkly contrasted to one another Nesir truly believes that they are merely two sides of the same coin. She was brought up evil yes, but she ran the streets with pick pockets who burned sacrifices to the gods of light.

Stealing was considered an evil action but if your motives were good then you could still be a follower of the light gods. Murder was a much bigger crime in the eyes of those gods yet Nesir has witnessed those of the temple killing, in self defence and to bring the world to light. But what does she fight for if not the defense of her and her brothers and sisters of darkness and to bring the shadow over the world.

She's not stupid she would never argue these points; the shadow circle would worry about her turning and the light addled would know she was not one of them. The fate of a captive shadow servant is grim; more evidence to support her beliefs.

But it does mean she sees the world a little differently; separating it into those that actively fight for their side and those that sit back and do nothing. To Nesir there is nothing so pathetic as the light addled peasant in his field, worshiping the gods of light yet barely understanding what needs to be done to keep the balance of the world in the bright gods favour.

Nesir can enter a meditative state called the emptiness. This is normal in her world, and there is nothing magical about it. It is merely a mindset where you close yourself off from the world, helping you to fight, bare pain or think clearly. The way you reach it differs between people and says a lot about their personality. For Nesir she imagines a storm sucking everything into it and devouring it all. All the bad, the good, everything around her; every part of her life before it finally devours itself leaving Nesir in calmness.

I have mentioned that she only truly respects Lotte and Ral, she does however have many who she respects through fear or necessity. The shadow circle, Elina and magic users. Even before her run in with the priest trainee she knew magic users were to be obeyed and respected. It had been drilled into her from an early age; which didn't stop her thumping the those in training when she thought they were being idiots. She does obey though; if reluctantly and show respect; if begrudgingly.

Nesir is a girl who knows how to use her skills and talents wisely. She looks younger than she is; something that she found useful as an assassin; who suspects a child after all? She looks weaker than she is; which helps her in fighting. It is easier to beat an opponent who underestimates you. She knows she is not great at making allies and so unless it's necessary she finds other ways to bring people around or force them to do as she wishes.

Above all Nesir keeps her true feelings deeply hidden; sometimes they escape but she makes sure to mask them. Grief for her sister came out as agression, the guilt is locked away and probably will never be examined. Fear is shoved into dark corners of her mind; she plunges into the emptiness whenever she feels threatened. Pain is to be weathered for showing it is weakness. And weakness leads to death; Nesir doesn't want to die because despite it's pain and dangers she enjoys her life; it is a thousand times better than a safe life of fading into obscurity.

And she will punch anyone who tries to convince her otherwise.

Abilities:
Like everyone in her world Nesir has power that comes from within her. However she is not magic; she has no way to channel the power inside her and so it just lies dormant unless drawn from her by a priest or priestess of her world.

She is a capable fighter, fighting with two daggers, able to throw daggers also. Though she is still learning to cope with the loss of her fingers she pushes herself hard, trying to maintain her dual wielding fighting style whilst glad she decided to learn to fight with both hands in the first place. She has a working knowledge of poisons and is a talented assassin. She knows basic field first aid (albeit very outdated in modern terms) and the basics of how to survive in the wilderness for short periods of times. (Just don't let her try and forage mushrooms or berries...) She was pretty decent at forgery but this is a skill lost to her until she becomes better at writing with her left hand.

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